Love & Business (PG-13)

In our relentless pursuit of entrepreneurial success or professional growth, there’s a dangerous tendency to apply the same strategic thinking and business acumen to personal relationships. As a divorced entrepreneur who has loved and lost a few times, I’ve come to realize that treating personal partners like business associates can be a losing proposition. The very traits that fuel success in business can, if misapplied, undermine the intimate bonds we cherish.

The best illustration of this is found in the movie Love & Basketball, which follows the lives of Monica and Quincy, two individuals whose romantic relationship is deeply intertwined with their shared passion for basketball. Their story highlights how applying strategic thinking and competitive intensity to a relationship can create both opportunities and challenges.

In business, we are trained to analyze every situation through the lens of strategy. We evaluate risks, seek optimal returns, and create systems to maximize efficiency. While these skills are crucial in the corporate arena, applying them to personal relationships often results in unintended consequences. This strategic mindset, if left unchecked, can transform a loving relationship into a transactional affair.

Similar to Monica and Quincy’s journey, when you’re an entrepreneur, every interaction is often seen through a cost-benefit analysis. You negotiate, plan, and assess outcomes. This approach can slip into our personal lives, where we might start treating our partners as though they’re stakeholders in a joint venture rather than as individuals deserving of genuine affection, understanding, and support.

I’ve made this mistake more than once, but I didn’t truly realize what I had done to others until someone did the same thing to me… and it sucked! In the early stages of my maturity, I approached relationships with the same intensity I applied to business deals. I would assess the potential of a relationship much like I would a business opportunity. I set goals, outlined expectations, and conducted what could only be described as relationship performance reviews. While this might ensure operational efficiency in a business, it can make a partner feel like they are being evaluated rather than cherished, much like the emotional challenges faced by Monica and Quincy in their personal and professional dynamics.

In personal relationships, love is not about strategic planning or ROI. It’s about connection, empathy, and support. Yet, when entrepreneurs apply their business mindset to their personal lives, they might overlook the emotional nuances that are crucial for a lasting relationship. The very qualities that make us successful in business – like dedication, discipline, and determination – can become barriers in our personal lives if we aren’t careful.

The cost of this approach can be profoundly painful. Relationships become strained, partners feel undervalued, and emotional needs go unmet. What begins as a commitment to building a life together can devolve into a series of contractual obligations and unmet expectations. The physical touch, the understanding glance, and the spontaneous acts of love get lost in a sea of strategic planning and goal-setting, as seen in the complexities of Monica and Quincy’s evolving relationship.

From my experiences, I’ve learned that personal relationships require a different kind of investment. They thrive on vulnerability, spontaneity, and genuine connection, rather than calculated metrics and strategic outcomes. It’s essential to differentiate between business acumen and personal connection. What’s required in love is not a business plan but a heartfelt commitment to growing together, a lesson beautifully illustrated by the enduring bond between Monica and Quincy.

As entrepreneurs, we must learn to navigate our personal relationships with the same care and empathy that we apply to our business ventures. It’s about stepping away from the boardroom mentality and embracing the emotional, often unpredictable nature of human connections.

So, the next time you “shoot your shot,” if you can balance your entrepreneurial drive with emotional intelligence, you’ll stand a better chance of nurturing a relationship that withstands the test of time.